


into the wee hours of the morning;

by unintentionallyangsty



Series: drive the dark things away; [17]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brodinsons, Brother Feels, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhaustion, Gen, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Gets a Hug (Marvel), Loki Lives (Marvel), Men Crying, New Asgard, Nightmares, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Sharing a Bed, Sleep Deprivation, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27224290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unintentionallyangsty/pseuds/unintentionallyangsty
Summary: After months of peace, Loki's nightmares crop up again with a vengeance.To Loki, the solution is simple; he just won't sleep.Unsurprisingly, Thor is not thrilled about this plan.(Whumptober 2020 Prompt #23 Fill: Exhaustion / Sleep Deprivation).
Relationships: Loki & Thor, Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Series: drive the dark things away; [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949623
Comments: 9
Kudos: 180
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	into the wee hours of the morning;

**Author's Note:**

> Loki & Thor. Takes place in New Asgard. Loki is alive and Infinity War has decidedly Not happened.
> 
> written for the Whumptober 2020 Prompt #23 Fill: Exhaustion / Sleep Deprivation. 
> 
> **chapter warnings !** : brief mentions of disordered eating. general warning for Loki's unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

Loki wasn’t sleeping. 

Thor’s first inclination to the fact was over breakfast, as he watched Loki poke halfheartedly at the bowl of oatmeal before him with a sort of glazed, disinterested look behind his eyes. 

“Loki?” Thor inquired, nudging one of the mugs of coffee in his hands before his brother before moving to take the seat opposite. 

Even at 10am (around the time Thor always rose, typically a few hours after Loki himself), Loki was obviously flagging, the bags beneath his drooping eyelids darker than they had been in weeks. 

Since they had touched down on Midgard almost a year before, at the very least. 

Loki simply hummed in response to Thor’s query, his gaze remaining trained listlessly on the table even as he extended a hand to automatically grasp at the mug of coffee before him. 

“Are you--alright?” Thor prodded, already busying himself with taking a long gulp of his still scalding coffee in an effort to appear otherwise preoccupied. 

He knew from experience, after all, that the more attention that was on Loki, the likelier he was to clam up and refuse to answer any of Thor’s queries as to his well-being. 

Not that he had a great track record of doing so, anyway. 

True to form, Loki frowned at the question, and his features cleared slightly as he glanced up to meet Thor’s expectant gaze. 

“What?” he inquired with a small blink. 

“I just--” Thor hesitated, watching with a distantly registering trepidation as Loki’s gaze sharpened into something a bit more shrewd, before forcing himself to hasten on, “I only asked if you were alright. You seem tired.” 

To Thor’s surprise, Loki blinked as if slightly taken aback by the question, before he shook his head and returned to glaring mulishly down at his mug of coffee. 

“I suppose I am.” he muttered with a small, halfhearted shrug. “I didn’t sleep well.” 

“Perhaps you should go back to bed.” Thor suggested immediately, still reeling slightly with shock at the seemingly effortlessly won honest answer he had received.

There was usually at least another few minutes of argument between the two of them, before he managed to get Loki to admit that something was wrong-- most of the time out of pure irritation, more than anything else.

“‘M’fine.” Loki was saying, now, his gaze held carefully averted even as he lifted the mug to take a small sip of his coffee. 

“Still.” Thor argued with a small frown of his own. “It couldn’t hurt. There isn’t much on our agenda today, at any rate. You could--” 

“It’s fine.” Loki interrupted, his lips twisting into a small scowl as he placed his mug back onto the table with a bit more force than was probably necessary. 

Too late, Thor realized that he has pressed too far (though how he was supposed to keep track of such a point in a conversation when it was a constantly moving target was, truly, beyond him), and hardly had time to open his mouth in reply before Loki was standing smoothly from his seat and skirting around Thor’s chair with his gaze held pointedly averted. 

“A--Alright.” Thor began, and turned to face where Loki was striding toward the front door. “I’ll--” 

He did not get a chance to finish, for by the time he was turned fully in his seat, the door was slamming behind Loki’s hasty exit. 

“Alright.” Thor repeated to the now empty room, his gut sinking slightly as he turned to face his now cooling mug of coffee. 

“Good talk.”

\---

The morning’s disastrous attempt at a conversation (or lack thereof) firmly in mind, Thor had prepared himself for the evening to more or less follow in a similar fashion. 

What he was not prepared for, however, was arriving home just after nightfall, only to find Loki stood in the middle of their kitchen, wooden spoon held aloft and eyes slightly wide as he turned to face the door at Thor’s arrival. 

Immediately, Thor was met with the smell of garlic and onions simmering in a pan on the stovetop, and he raised one brow curiously even as his stomach gave a near startling growl. 

They stood like that for a moment longer, each eyeing the other warily as if expecting to be loudly berated (at least, the fact was true in Thor’s case). 

He hadn’t seen Loki since his somewhat dramatic departure that morning, after all. And, while this wasn’t a rarity in itself (the two often found themselves busy to the point of not seeing each other but in passing for a number of days on end), Thor had assumed that this time was a case of Loki going out of his way to avoid him. 

After another beat of silence, Thor cleared his throat pointedly before shutting the front door softly behind himself, and began to toe his sneakers off. 

“I--I see you’re cooking.” he commented, a little lamely, as he nudged both his shoes to rest against the row of others by the doorstop, neat and orderly in a way he knew Loki appreciated. 

“I am.” Loki replied, after a moment’s hesitation, and by the sound of his voice had already turned back to the stovetop.

“I’m glad.” Thor nodded slightly, and turned to face where Loki’s back was, indeed, to him now. “I thought you might be too busy to bother with dinner.” 

It was a conversation they’d had (or, more accurately, Thor had had with Loki) a number of times in the past year, though Thor would have readily approached the topic again, had Loki’s ire extended to him intentionally skipping meals just so that he might be able to continue to avoid Thor’s company. 

(He already had a feeling that Loki hadn’t bothered with breakfast that morning, after all). 

It was a welcome surprise, therefore, for Thor to find his brother not only preparing a meal for himself, but to be doing so at a somewhat reasonable hour, as well. 

“Hmm.” Loki hummed somewhat noncommittally, and took a moment to pour what looked like a jar of pasta sauce into the pan on the stovetop, before he turned the heat down with a soft _click_ and turned to face Thor, his shoulders squared and expression steely with determination. 

“It’s for you, actually.” he informed, and quickly tacked on, “Well, for the both of us.” when Thor opened his mouth to protest. 

Thrown slightly off kilter by the words, Thor gaped for a moment before his mouth shut into a small, bewildered frown. 

“Alright.” he nodded again. “Thank--” 

“I wanted to apologize.” Loki interrupted in a rush of words, and his cheeks flushed slightly seconds later, as if he had not intended to speak in such a forward manner. 

For the second time that evening, Thor felt himself at a loss for words, and he felt his brow furrow as he shook his head. 

“For this morning.” Loki continued, when Thor did not reply, his hands twisting before him as he studied the ground between them, rather than meet Thor’s gaze. “There was no reason--You didn’t--” 

Thor watched, somewhat distantly amused, as Loki’s features twisted in frustration as he continued to struggle to bring reason to his apology. 

With good reason, Thor considered. While Loki’s apologies were almost always sincere, they were few and far between, extended only when Loki himself had deemed them absolutely necessary. 

Which, apparently, included right now. 

And, though Thor could not fathom why (they had had worse arguments in even the past week, he was sure), he found himself nodding and striding forward to cross the space between them. 

“Loki.” he interrupted his brother’s sputtering lowly, and extended a hand to place it gently against the side of Loki’s neck. “It’s alright. I’m not upset.” 

The words seemed to have their desired effect. For, not a moment after they were spoken, Loki almost seemed to wilt in relief, going so far as to practically lean into Thor’s touch as he offered a slightly tremulous smile. 

“Though I will be,” Thor continued, and raised a finger between them in mock solemnity. “If you do not save at least half of this meal for yourself.” 

Loki huffed, a bit of familiar irritation coloring his features as he rolled his eyes at Thor’s chiding. 

“It’s too much for the both of us as it is.” he informed, “We’ll be saving at least half.” 

“Still.” Thor shrugged indifferently, and leaned forward to press a brief kiss to Loki’s forehead before he moved away. 

He did not miss the way that Loki seemed to lean closer to his retreating hand before he visibly stopped himself, nor the way his eyes continued to track Thor’s movements as he strode into the kitchen to wash his hands. 

Pretending not to notice the somewhat crestfallen expression that had flickered briefly over Loki’s features before he turned back to the food on the stovetop, Thor logged the information away for later examination, and turned to begin setting two places for dinner. 

They ate in companionable silence, occasionally broken by Thor’s informing Loki of the going-ons of the village that afternoon, and Loki’s own hums of acknowledgement and, on more than one occasion, yawns that he hid poorly behind his hand. 

Thor had frowned, though he refrained from commenting. He was well aware that, for all his good intentions, his drawing attention to Loki’s apparent exhaustion would do little but prod at the younger Odinson’s ire. 

He didn’t really want a repeat of that morning, as it was, and therefore kept his concern to himself. 

After the meal was finished, and the remainder of the dish properly stored, Thor thanked his brother again before moving to take his usual seat at the corner of the sofa in the living room.

To his surprise, he felt the sofa cushion beside him dip not five minutes after he had taken his seat, and turned just in time to watch as Loki summoned a book into his lap and curled his long legs beneath him. 

It was not an unfamiliar sight, as it were. Their evenings were often spent in a similar routine, with Thor reading or finishing up reports in the living room, and Loki either joining him with a book of his own, or retreating into his bedroom for some quiet.

What was less familiar, however, was the fact that Loki had chosen to curl up onto the sofa directly beside Thor’s own seat, rather than his usual spot in the armchair at the corner of the room. 

“You’re staring.” Loki commented without glancing up from his book, and Thor considered that he might have bought the comment as being entirely casual, were it not for the way Loki’s shoulders tensed almost imperceptibly closer to his ears beneath Thor’s gaze. 

“Sorry.” Thor replied, and quickly averted his gaze to the pile of paperwork on the coffee table before them. “I only thought that you might want to turn in early.” 

It was only a half-lie. In truth, he had fully anticipated Loki retiring to his own bedroom almost immediately after dinner;

Especially considering the way he’d yawned practically endlessly as they’d tidied up following the meal. 

“I’m quite comfortable where I am, thank you.” Loki dismissed with a small wave of his hand. “Besides, if you’re planning on going over the agricultural trade deals,” he glanced pointedly down at Thor’s pile of reports. “I’d rather be present for it. If only to ensure you have all of the details correct.”

“We both know that I do.” Thor grumbled, for show more than anything, and reached forward to draw the paperwork into his lap. “You helped draft them, after all.” 

“Which is exactly why the details are correct.” Loki agreed primly. And, to Thor’s mingled confusion and delight, banished his book with a wave in order to lean closer and study the papers. 

“Go on, then.” 

\---

It was only as the two were preparing for bed, the reports completed and stacked neatly on the kitchen table for retrieval the following morning, that Thor was given some answer to the question he had felt rattling about his mind since that morning. 

He was stood in the hallway, one hand on the doorknob to his bedroom, when he turned to give Loki a small smile before he retired for the evening. 

“Goodnight, brother.” he called to where Loki was letting himself into the bathroom across the hall. “Thank you for your help. It’s very much appreciated.” 

There was a beat, before Loki turned to glance over his shoulder to where Thor was stood, his features unexpectedly tight and drawn. 

Timid, Thor would have said, had he an easier time associating such a word with Loki.

Even still, Loki seemed to hesitate, his mouth opening and closing in an undignified, quite un-Loki-like gape. 

At the sight, Thor opened his mouth, and prepared himself to intervene (or at least offer a more final goodnight, if only to spare Loki his apparent misery)--

Only for the words to die on his lips as he watched as Loki’s gaze flickered briefly, once, toward the door to Thor’s bedroom, then to his own, before dropping to the floor between his feet as he cleared his throat awkwardly. 

It was a gesture that, while not unfamiliar, Thor had not seen since they were tweens, at the very least. Probably before, if he was being honest. 

He was struck by the sudden memory of Loki and himself stood in the halls of Asgard’s palace, centuries before, though almost entirely similar to how they faced each other now. 

They had shared a room through a majority of their youth, though had parted into their own spaces when Thor had insisted it, eager as he was to mature and gain his own independence. 

Loki, on the other hand, had had something of a more difficult time adjusting to the change. 

This being the case, Loki would often delay retiring for the evening as long as possible, going so far as to goad Thor into a number of games or stories until the elder prince grew exhausted enough to practically demand that they head to bed. 

And, when Loki had finally relented, they had stood as they were now, hovered awkwardly in the hallway as Loki gazed longingly at the door to Thor’s bedroom, not half as subtle as he thought he was being. 

And, Thor realized with a start, though Loki’s methods had become much more refined and cunning, in recent years, they continued to follow the same, familiar pattern. 

Before Thor could voice his revelation (or even begin to think of how to ask why Loki would want to spend the evening in Thor’s room at all), Loki offered a tight lipped smile and a quick, “Goodnight, Thor.”, before he disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door behind himself with a decided _snick_. 

With a sigh, Thor fell against the far wall and frowned as he mulled his newly acquired information carefully over in his mind. 

It came as little surprise when, as he let himself into his bedroom and began to wearily prepare for bed, Thor found that he had more questions now, with one answer received, than he had before. 

\---

The remainder of the week followed in what was, more or less, a similar pattern.

Loki would already be awake when Thor rose and stumbled blearily into the kitchen for breakfast, a half empty cup of coffee before him and a small scowl on his face. 

His reply to Thor’s greeting (if there was to be one, at all) was clipped and distracted, almost as if he hardly realized that he was saying anything, at all.

If Thor inquired as to his well-being, or commented on his seemingly exhausted state, Loki would immediately tense and storm out of the house entirely. 

The first two days had followed this pattern, and Thor had quickly learned that he was not going to yield any different results, were he to keep pressing. 

So he kept his questions to himself, to which Loki seemed to be grateful. This, however, left them to sit in a somewhat stilted silence throughout the remainder of breakfast. 

Or Thor’s breakfast, at any rate. Unwilling to risk his brother’s temper flaring again, Thor had not prodded about the meal since his first attempt, which had won him a snarl so severe he had nearly reeled back at the sight of it. 

Therefore, he left Loki to his one cup of half finished coffee, held carefully cradled between his palms until Thor declared that he was leaving. 

For the past four days, this had been Loki’s cue to rise quickly from the table, dump his mug unceremoniously into the sink, and hastily exit the house before Thor had a chance to inquire about his intended destination or plans for the day. 

And, for the past six days, Loki had remained entirely out of sight for the entirety of the day following, missing scheduled council meetings with a flippancy so unlike his usual behavior that Thor felt panic spiking within his chest with increasing urgency, the further into the week they got. 

This being said, however, each and every evening of the week had occurred in a similar manner. 

Thor would arrive home around sunset, only to find Loki either finishing dinner or with dinner ready on the table. He did not apologize again, nor did Thor wish him to do so (he’d be unsettled enough by the initial apology to last him a full year). However, Loki remained subdued, and would halfheartedly pick at his dinner with increasing reluctance, one elbow perched on the table and one fist keeping his head propped upright. 

The dark circles beneath his eyes seemed to darken further with each passing evening, as did the frequency of his yawning and, by day three, almost nodding off at the table. 

It was clear that Loki wasn’t sleeping. Or, if he was, that his rest was becoming almost consistently disrupted. As to what the root of the problem was, however, Thor was left entirely in the dark. 

Around day four, he himself had attempted to remain awake, gazing listlessly at a book as he strained to pick up on any sound of Loki’s sleep being disrupted from past his own cracked door. 

No such sound had been forthcoming, however, and Thor had (to his own chagrin) lost his battle with the ever-insistent pull of sleep around 2 o’clock in the morning. 

The reason behind Loki’s fatigue, therefore, remained a mystery. And, as much as Thor desired to simply ask outright and get to the bottom of things, he was consistently reminded of Loki’s hair-trigger frustration, which was enough to quell him into silence, for the time being. 

The last thing he wanted was to antagonize Loki while he was clearly sleep deprived. Years of having (unintentionally or otherwise) done so in the past had taught him well enough to avoid such a confrontation. 

The one good that had come out of the situation (and Thor felt mildly guilty for even considering such a thought) happened to be the evenings the two spent together, following dinner each night. 

To Thor’s surprise, Loki had retaken his seat beside him on the sofa the evening following the first time. And, to Thor’s near shock, the habit had continued into the next several days.

How they spent the evening depended almost entirely upon Loki. For the first two days, he had seemed content to simply sit, curled almost against Thor’s side, with a book in his lap. 

It was on the third night that this pattern was disrupted.

Loki had been having apparent and increasing difficulty focussing on his book, his head tilting dangerously forward as his eyes fluttered heavily.

Noticing the behavior for what it was, Thor had kept his silence, remaining tense and ready to swoop forward in case Loki pitched forward far enough to tip off of the sofa entirely.

It was hardly five minutes later that Loki nodded into something of a tremulous sleep, his head tilting slightly forward before he fell to the side, and leaned to rest it against Thor’s shoulder, almost as if entirely unaware that he was doing so. 

Immediately, Thor had tensed, his very breath stilling within his lungs as Loki fairly melted against his side--

Only to jerk back into wakefulness not a second later, a loud gasp expelling from his lungs as his gaze flickered about wildly. 

“Hey,” Thor had murmured immediately, and raised a hand to rest atop Loki’s trembling shoulder. “Shh, it’s alright. You just fell asleep.” 

Unexpectedly, Loki had tensed at the words, his back still entirely to Thor, and had spent the better part of the next five minutes breathing evenly through his nose.

Thor had not moved his hand, and Loki had not moved to shrug it off. 

“I--Let’s watch something.” Loki had declared, at length. 

“What?” Thor had blinked slightly in shock. 

If anything, he had anticipated Loki to suggest that they head to bed. 

“Anything.” Loki had gestured to the television at the far end of the room, then, and Thor had pretended not to notice the way his hand trembled as he did so. “Whatever. Just…” 

He had trailed off, and Thor had been able to find it within himself to press further.

“Alright.” he agreed, and had moved to turn Netflix on. 

That night, the two had stayed up until nearly 1am, watching some show Thor could not recall the name of. And, though Loki had wavered on the very edge of sleep a number of times, his gaze had remained determinedly fixed on the flickering screen, as if it held the answers to life and the universe itself. 

And so the pattern had continued. 

If the books or paperwork were not enough to keep Loki stimulated enough to remain awake, he would suggest a show or a movie, and Thor would blindly comply, the uneasiness in his gut growing with each passing day as Loki continued to waver visibly. 

And, though Loki only drifted off two or three more times, he always awoke gasping and fearful, as if he was not entirely aware of where he was and what was happening. 

This in itself was enough to keep Thor from putting up too much of a fight toward their increasingly late nights; his own increasing tiredness be damned. 

And, though Thor knew that it was not a pattern that could be continued forever, he found that he was (selfishly) reluctant to disrupt the tentative, comfortable familiarity that had begun to grow between the two of them during their long nights spent silently at each other’s side.

It was pitiful, he knew, to take such comfort in a ritual that stemmed from Loki’s obvious dismay and reluctance (or inability) to sleep. 

And yet he had come to enjoy, and even look forward to, their small and private evening routine. 

Which was, of course, when things were disrupted by Thor receiving the answers he had begun to believe he did not desire as much as he had initially believed. 

\---

Thor was late. 

It wasn’t as if he and Loki had a timestamp on when they were to begin their newly established evening routine. On the contrary, Thor returned home each evening with an expectation that Loki might have changed his mind, and either gone to bed early or stayed out later, with little to no warning offered to Thor, either way. 

He had, however, remained surprisingly punctual and consistent over the past week, leaving Thor to feel even guiltier as he attempted to hastily wrap up his council with the Valkyrie and Heimdall. 

Which, as it turned out, was a feat easier said than done. 

There was a problem with communications with the mainland, and even Stark’s specifically provided word of voucher did not seem quite enough to ensure a steady trade establishment, at present. 

As a result, the remaining members of the council had become increasingly restless about the entire ordeal, leaving Thor and the Valkyrie to attempt to sort out the situation, with Heimdall remaining to offer the occasional word of support or advice. 

In the end, the situation had still not been entirely rectified by 9pm, at which point everyone present was beginning to falter visibly, having gone without dinner or five minutes of peace since the meeting had begun, over four hours before. 

At which point, they had decided to reconvene the morning following, and had gone their separate ways. 

Which left Thor stumbling onto his own front doorstep at nearly 9:30pm, his lids already beginning to droop shut as he fumbled with the front doorknob and fairly stumbled into the warmth of the house--

Only to freeze on the threshold as his gaze zeroed in onto the figure on the sofa. 

In all honesty, he had entirely anticipated returning to Loki having already retired to his back bedroom, or simply to an empty house, entirely. 

It came as something as a surprise, therefore, that he found Loki perched on the edge of the sofa in the main living room, his elbows resting on his knees and his gaze wide and unseeing even as the front door hit the wall unceremoniously as Thor entered. 

“Lo--” Thor felt the half-greeting, half-apology die on his lips, the minute he took in Loki’s expression. 

Or, more accurately, Loki’s lack thereof. 

For, even as Thor swung the door quickly shut behind himself, Loki did not stir, his only movement at all his short, shallow inhales as his gaze remained trained firmly on the wall to Thor’s right. 

His stomach flipping slightly, Thor took another tentative step into the room, not bothering to remove his shoes as he extended both hands warily before him. 

“Loki?” he called, louder than he had anticipated, though it seemed to make little difference, for Loki remained entirely immobile even as Thor took another step forward.

“Brother?” Thor prodded, “Are you alright?” 

He found himself holding his breath, then, fully prepared for Loki to spring to life and berate Thor for his pestering, before disappearing entirely--

In reality, Loki hardly shifted beyond a slow, heavy blink over his owlish eyes, which left Thor feeling worse and more lost than any amount of chiding could have. 

“Loki,” he called again, and felt something within him stir to life when Loki tensed slightly at the sound, his mouth twisting into a considering frown as Thor continued to approach. 

It was hardly a desired reaction, and yet it was a reaction, all the same. 

Which was as much as he could ask for, at the present moment. 

“It’s alright.” Thor found himself saying as he crossed the last step into the living room, his arms still outstretched and his heart hammering in his throat. “It’s just me.” 

Loki shifted minutely, then, his gaze flickering weakly over the far wall before it turned slowly, ever so slowly, to land on where Thor was still stood with a stupid, hopeful and encouraging smile still pasted over his features. 

“Thor?” 

“Yes, Loki!” Thor cheered, swallowing down the ridiculous urge to praise Loki for having recognized him at all. “It’s me.” 

There was a beat of silence, before something like a righteous fury tightened at the edges of Loki’s features, and Thor had only a moment to stumble a step backward and away, before his brother was on his feet and in his face. 

“I--You--” Loki hissed, indignantly, as if the words were a damning condemnation in themselves. “You--” 

“Loki,” Thor repeated, for what felt like the millionth time, and extended a hand to rest lightly at his brother’s elbow, his stomach turning when he felt the trembling of the limb beneath his hand. “Lo--” 

“I didn’t--where you were.” Loki gasped, then, his face paling dramatically as he swayed beneath Thor’s touch. “I--You’re alive. You’re alive?”

Thor felt something within himself twist at the words, and the confusion twisting the skin between Loki’s brows, and he forced a small smile onto his face as he replied, “Of course I’m alive! Loki, I’m here. It’s fine--”

“It’s--” Loki hissed, and jerked to dislodge his elbow from beneath Thor’s hold, though the effort was weak, at best. “It’s not--not _fine_.”

“ _Loki_ ,” Thor insisted and, before he could stop himself, reached out his opposite hand to press it firmly against the side of Loki’s neck, noting absently the way his brother’s pulse fluttered madly beneath his thumb as he did so. “I’m here. It’s alright. You’re alright.”

Before him, Loki continued to struggle for breath, his eyes wide and alarmingly wet as he shook his head--

Then, quite without warning, Loki’s expression crumpled, and he exhaled a sharp, bark of a sob that sounded as if it was torn from deep within his chest. 

“It’s _not_ \--” he gasped, even as he raised a hand to clasp tightly around the wrist of Thor’s hand that still rested against his neck. “You’re--you--” 

Loki choked on an inhale, then, before he curled further forward with another small and fragile sob of an exhale. 

“Shh.” Thor soothed, panic surging within his chest as Loki’s trembles only increased beneath his hold. “Shh shh...You’re alright, Loki.” he whispered desperately, and moved his thumb to stroke soothingly along the jut of Loki’s sharp jawline. “You’re tired. It’s alright.”

“I--” Loki gasped, even as his eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into Thor’s touch. “I--I don’t--” 

“Shush.” Thor commanded, as softly as he could, and leaned forward to press a long and gentle kiss to the heated and sweaty skin of Loki’s brow. “Breathe. I’ve got you.”

With a small whimper, Loki complied, nodding slightly beneath Thor’s touch as he leaned slightly further into his brother’s space. 

Not that Thor particularly minded. 

“It’s alright.” Thor continued to soothe as he moved one hand to rest against Loki’s lower back, and turned to guide them both toward his own bedroom. “You’re alright! You just need rest.”

Whatever Thor was expecting, it wasn’t for Loki to begin thrashing madly against his hold, his heels digging into the floor below as his shoulders tensed beneath Thor’s touch. “N--No.” he whimpered, eyes slamming shut as his jaw clenched visibly. “No!” 

To Thor’s horror, he began to fight in earnest, his mouth opening to release a small wail as his arms raised to claw weakly at Thor’s arms. 

“Loki!” Thor cried in alarm, and raised one of his arms to wind tightly around both of Loki’s own. “It’s alright! You’ll be alright!” 

Somehow, he managed to maneuver the both of them into the bedroom even with Loki’s struggling, and surged forward to practically toss Loki’s trembling figure onto the bed. 

Rather than immediately rise to lash out, as Thor had expected, Loki collapsed limply onto the mattress, his breaths leaving him in short and shallow pants as his gaze darted frantically about the room. 

Then, quite without warning, he curled forward with another soft, muted wail, and curled both hands around his elbows as he rested his forehead on his still visibly knocking knees. 

“Oh, Loki.” Thor muttered and, unable to keep still a moment longer, surged forward to all but collapse onto his knees at Loki’s side. 

“Loki, shh.” he whispered, one hand rising to cup at the back of Loki’s head, his fingers automatically tangling in the curls there. “ _Breathe_ , brother. Breathe. It’s alright. I’m right here.” 

“Th--Thor.” Loki gasped, two stray tears streaking down his cheeks as he turned to meet Thor’s gaze. “I--I don’t--” 

“Shh.” Thor commanded, and rose to tug Loki’s face to fit into the crook between his neck and shoulder, his heart twisting as he felt his brother’s tears immediately beginning to soak the skin there. “I’ve got you. I’m here.” 

Eventually, Loki did begin to calm, his wet and tremulous breaths hot against Thor’s neck as he continued to gasp desperately for air. 

“That’s it.” Thor encouraged, and turned to place another soft kiss into Loki’s curls at the side of his head. “You’re doing well. You can relax, Lo. Breathe, now.” 

After another five minutes or so of them sitting similarly, Loki all but lifeless as he continued to heave for breath against Thor’s side, Thor shifted so that he was sat up against the headboard of the bed, Loki pressed into his side as his legs tangled with Thor’s. 

“Breathe, now.” Thor repeated on a breath against the crown of his brother’s head. “Please, Loki.” 

And, to his surprise, Loki did. 

Loki struggled another minute, his legs kicking out fruitlessly against the sheets below, and seized, briefly, but with enough strength to still Thor’s breath within his lungs, before he collapsed into Thor’s side with a small whimper. 

His next inhale was soft and shallow, barely audible, though to Thor it was one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard. 

“Good job!” he praised on a whisper, and turned to press a series of feather-light kisses to the side of Loki’s head as he continued to gasp weakly against Thor’s shoulder. “Well done, Loki. Good job.” 

They stayed like that for another indeterminable stretch of time, Thor whispering encouragements as Loki slowly regained control of his breathing.

After what felt like a century, Thor felt his eyelids begin to droop in exhaustion, and was surprised to find Loki’s breaths evening out into something perilously close to sleep against the skin of his neck. 

“Sleep, Loki.” he encouraged, and leaned forward to nuzzle his nose into the curls at the crown of Loki’s head. “It’ll be alright. Sleep, now.” 

And, surprisingly, Loki did. 

\---

Thor awoke with a gasp, his heart hammering as he turned to face the source of the iron grip that was suddenly tightening around his shoulder. 

Immediately, he felt a figure shy away from his side, and the hand that had been clasped around his shoulder disappeared not a moment after. 

With another sharp and steadying inhale, Thor turned, only to come face to face with a wide eyed, somewhat terrified looking Loki, his gaze held carefully averted even as Thor felt his own soften. 

“Hey,” he whispered, voice still somehow too loud and abrasive in the dark of the room. “Lo. Are you--” he faltered, then, and took a moment to read Loki for any outward signs of hostility or irritation. 

When it seemed that Loki was all but catonic again, however, Thor quickly pressed, “Are you alright?”

There was a beat, before Loki’s features shifted into a small, considering frown and, after another moment, he lifted his gaze to meet Thor’s with a somewhat tentative look of his own. 

“I--I’m not entirely sure.” he murmured, voice held so low it was almost imperceptible. 

Thor heard it, however, and felt something within himself turn uncomfortably at the words. 

Rather than give voice to the fear he could feel bubbling within the space between his lungs, however, Thor simply nodded (probably too eagerly) and extended a hand to rest it lightly against Loki’s near-violently trembling ribs. 

“Alright.” he continued, a little hoarsely. “That’s alright. I--” he paused, and inhaled a deep and somewhat unsteady breath, before deciding that now was not the time to skirt the issue.

Not when Loki was trembling beneath his hold like a small and frightened animal. 

“Loki,” he began, softly, and began to stroke his hand up and down Loki’s still-shuddering side when he felt his brother tense at the sound of his name. “You--You haven’t been sleeping, have you?” 

The silence that followed the question stretched on so long, Thor was briefly afraid that Loki had fallen asleep, or was simply seconds away from breaking out from beneath his hold and bolting. 

Instead, Loki inhaled a sharp breath from beneath him, only to release it on a shuddering exhale. 

“No.” 

And, as much as Thor hated the truth behind the response, he felt something within him rejoice at the fact that he had received a reply at all. 

“Alright.” he nodded fervently, and continued to stroke up and down Loki’s back with a renewed vigour, before repeating, “Alright. Is--Are you--” 

He allowed himself to inhale sharply through his nose, his eye falling briefly shut, before he pressed on. 

“Is it nightmares?” 

Beside him, Loki released what sounded like a sharp sob, before he all but collapsed back against Thor’s side with a nod. 

“It--They--Nn--” he hiccuped breathlessly. 

“Shh.” Thor soothed, and raised his hand to grasp tightly at the back of Loki’s neck. “It’s alright.” 

“They--” Loki gagged, slightly, before he shook his head against Thor’s neck. 

“They’ve gotten worse.” he finally gasped, weakly, as if it were a shameful admission. “I--I’m sorry. I--” 

“ _No_.” Thor interrupted sternly, ignoring how Loki tensed beneath him at the harsh tone in favor of shaking his brother lightly. “No, Loki. You don’t--You don’t get to apologize for this.” 

He shook his head firmly, before turning to all but bury his face into the side of Loki’s near-feverishly warm neck. 

“Not for this.”

There was a beat, before Loki curled forward, almost tentatively, and raised one hand to press it (still trembling) to the nape of Thor’s neck. 

“It’s alright.” Thor breathed, as soon as he felt the touch land, and shifted to place a soft kiss to the space between Loki’s neck and shoulder. 

“You can sleep.” he reassured, and raised his hand to press it against the back of Loki’s head. 

“I’ll be here.” he promised on a fervent, almost feverish whisper. 

“You can sleep.” 

\---

When Loki awoke the next morning, it was after an entire night’s worth of even, uninterrupted sleep. 

And, when he turned to face where Thor was already awake, leaning against the headboard of the bed with a soft and fond look on his features, it was with a tentative smile already on his own face. 

Immediately, Thor’s hand extended to nestle in the hair at the nape of Loki’s neck, and Loki allowed his eyes to drift shut beneath the touch.

“Want me to get breakfast?” Thor inquired, after an indeterminable amount of time, his voice held carefully low and quiet. 

Loki bit his lip, and briefly considered the merit of a mug of coffee, at the present moment, before he tentatively shook his head. 

“Stay?” he murmured, feeling heat rise to his cheeks the second he extended the shameful request. 

“Just for a moment.” he hastily tacked on. 

Beside him, Thor chuckled fondly, and gently scraped his nails along the back of Loki’s skull in a gesture so soothing Loki had to bite back a whimper beneath the force of it. 

“No problem.” Thor whispered. “I’ll stay.” 

And, to Loki’s delight, he did. 

**Author's Note:**

> it is late and i cannot believe i wrote almost 7k for this one ! if this doesn't make any sense i am so sorry !! i just wanted to write sleepy and emotional cuddling 
> 
> hmu at my [tumblr !](http://littlekinng.tumblr.com) ty all so much for your encouraging messages !! xx


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